Written By Gurpreet Kaur for Northern Woman Magazine, December 2018.

Why not you?

There is a common misconception that once you reach a certain age or point in your life, you are who you are and that’s it, you’re stuck there. Or there is a school of thought that when someone has managed to make huge changes they have only done so because of their good luck or superior intelligence, and so it couldn’t possibly happen for you.

Just over three years ago I was someone who believed the very same;  it can happen for anyone else but me. Only it did happen for me. I have completely changed my health, my career, my entire outlook on life and I did it all after the age of 30. The change is so marvellous that I now show others how to achieve the very best for themselves too

Let’s do a quick rewind to 2015 I was 34. I had several miscarriages which led to a hysterectomy. I was at a dark, depressed place in my life thinking I had no real future to speak of. It was when I was voicing this to my brother that he suggested that I look at my life through the eyes of gratitude instead.  Gratitude? Could I really be grateful for the things that seemed like my biggest obstacles? It turns out I could. I looked to find gratitude for as many things as I could in my day and this proved to be such an empowering and cathartic tool that I applied it to as many things as I could. Being able to change how I thought and felt about any situation simply by changing my perspective was a revelation. Furthermore it’s a mental faculty that we all have access to. I developed an attitude of gratitude and actively sought out things that I could be grateful for and quickly realised how much I had been overlooking. I even changed how I saw things like having a bathroom to clean meant that I have a home, a roof over my head and how fortunate that I had the bath and running hot water.

It was incredible how differently I felt when I chose to focus on something other than the sorrow I had identified with for so long. I felt stronger, happier and calmer. The things that once seemed so heavy, began to feel light. I began to see that far from being alone, I had the most incredible people in my life who encouraged me from the get go. 

After consulting with my doctor I chose to give up anti-depressants after 15 years in October 2015 and began to take control of my mental health. This was not an easy time, but it was certainly worth it. I replaced the pills with reading about the mind, science and spirituality. I swapped the television schedule for meditation time, cooked more wholesome food and introduced exercising again. I had become as committed to feeling better as I had previously been to feeling sad. I saw the withdrawal from the medication as training myself to feel better, to feel differently and like with anything, the more we practice something, the more we acquire the skill. Before long it had become a new way of being and others were seeing huge differences in me and wanted to know more.

Let’s fast forward 3 years and I continue to be obsessed with learning about the mind and how to use it to maximise human potential. I have qualified as an NLP Practitioner and most recently I completed a mentorship under one of the leaders in the field of personal development, Kim Calvert.

I now run a successful Mindset Transformation company helping others see just how much they are capable of in every and any area of their life, no matter what their age, gender or background. One of the biggest things I have learned is that no matter where you are in your life right now, if you don’t like it, you can change it. You absolutely can. You simply have to make a decision to do it and then do it. If you don’t know where to start, ask someone who is displaying the results you desire. Reach out to people who can help. 

Switch your focus to spending time thinking about what would make you happy, make that a goal and write it out daily. Start and end your day with gratitude for at least five things. This isn’t just a nice thing to do, there is an actual science that explains why this works. Change, add or remove one thing or habit each month that will help you to reach your goal sooner. Remember the idea is not perfection, it’s progress, so don’t beat yourself up about things, just keep going and moving forward. Success comes from not giving up. 

Alter your perspective when things look a little off, or where a situation is playing on your mind, and ask instead what could you learn from it. Some of the things I thought were the toughest to deal with in life have been the most character building experiences. Start being selective of how you spend your time; read more, laugh more, walk more and spend time with like minded people. Turn off the news and introduce a routine for daily meditation – what we take in through our senses plays a huge part in how we feel and view the world around us. Our sensory diet is just as important as the food we eat. These small, but mighty steps me took me on a path of self discovery, optimum mental health and massive improvements in my personal and professional results and thus I can say I am grateful for each of the things that I once thought were my biggest afflictions. As it happens those very things are what have propelled me further and higher than ever before. So, if I can, why not you?